Books about Lifeskills - condensed for your pleasure

So many great books out there with loads of content that we could use to make our lives easier and help us to live smarter and with more joy, but WHO has time to read them? I glean the jewels - so that you can take the best for YOU and leave the rest! Let's get started!







Powered By Blogger

Search This Blog

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Whoa! Slow down and get ZEN!

I'm baaa-aack... and none too soon!

I have been so caught up in life that I have made NO TIME for considering life and all of its surprises (good and bad). So, I have put my nose into a little ZEN. What is Zen? My question, exactly. I opened up a book that has been sitting quietly on my shelf, called, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living," and began searching for answers.

One of the first phrases to stand out to me regarding Zen was that you should be sure you are, "living in your present moment in the very best way you possibly can, because the past is gone and tomorrow never really comes." That's a big WHOA for me because I have been living solely in "yesterday" and "tomorrow" for several months. I admit that I have been regretting what hasn't been done and dreading what won't be done, due to health issues. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere. So... it's obviously not a good approach to life. Time for a change.

After a bit of studying, I learned that my obsession with the past and the future stems from a need for CONTROL and that Zen teaches you to relinquish control of "your ship." You see, "Zen can teach you to let go... [of]... the effort, the strain, and the burden of trying to manipulate that giant, seaweed-clogged rudder against the inevitable waves and tides. Your ship can run beautifully by itself. Just keep an eye out for icebergs, and you'll be fine." This was news to me.

For those of us who are waiting for the right moment to live out our life story, here's a revelation: "You live your entire life story every moment, so you have nowhere to go. You are already there. The story finishes each second, then starts again. Here you are, living. The end." Yikes! Does anybody else do that - waiting for "that moment" when it will all begin, when you will realize your dreams and "really" start "living?" Join the club. But, as they say, the future is now!

You may have heard that Zen is based on ancient Buddhist principles that began in India. But no, my friends, you do not have to become a Buddhist to benefit from the principles of Zen! People of all religions (or no religion) have benefited greatly from Zen, without "losing their religion." However, learning a bit of Buddhist background is a good place to start. Allow me to insert just a bit of history upon which Buddhist philosophy is based...

Siddhartha Gotama was a prince born of India's Warrior class about five centuries before the birth of Christ. His father (incorrectly) tried to shelter him from all strife during his childhood, in order to make him a great leader, but he eventually escaped the confinement of his youth and ventured out to find that the world was not all peaches and cream. Sorry, Daddy. His discovery of, "Four Noble Truths," transformed his existence into "nirvana," or "enlightenment." Nirvana is the recognition of 1) the great unity of all things, 2) the nature of suffering and, 3) how to end suffering.

Around age 30, this "Buddha," or "enlightened one," began traveling and teaching truth, or dharma for forty more years. These truths were arranged into particular principles, and within him developed "a deep compassion for all living things and the wish for all to recognize their own" enlightened nature. The Four Noble Truths are as follows:

-"Living" means experiencing dukha, which is the Sanskrit word for "discontent, dissatisfaction, suffering and fear."

-"Suffering is caused by desire" which causes dissatisfaction with the way things are.

-"We can eliminate suffering by eliminating desire"

-We eliminate desire by adhering to the "Eightfold Path," thereby reducing suffering and increasing joy into our lives.

Without adding too much detail, the Eightfold Path entails the following: Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Buddhist philosophy traveled from India to China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam and then to America. So... now that you are an expert (ha!) on the history of Zen, let's find out how to rev up the Zen in our own lives, broken down into three steps!

First, create a dukha list. Place all of your ongoing dissatisfactions on that list, adding to it as they arise. Undoubtedly, you will begin to see a theme as you add items. Second, say this aloud: "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS." Third, identify the things (and themes) on your list over which you have no control and choose to let them go. As you practice letting go, again and again, you will begin to perceive your dukha (dissatisfaction), but it won't bother you as much. '"There it is," you'll say. "There is that human suffering thing. But I've been there, done that, and don't need to do it this time.""

You see, Zen teaches us to break the cycle of "attaching ourselves unproductively to things we can't control." To live is to experience pain. That's just how it is. It's part of what we call "life." What we don't realize is that our worst and most recurrent pain is caused by the labels we attach to the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves! THOUGHTS CAUSE DUHKA! Another WHOA! Am I the only one yelling!?! Man, I love this stuff!

Specifically, how do we break the dukha cycle daily? By doing the following:

1) sitting quietly in meditation (clearing your mind during stillness),

2) walking quietly in meditation (clearing your mind while exercising) yoga and tai chi are great mind-clearing exercises too, or whatever floats your boat...

3) finding your center (stopping and regrouping when frustrated) and

4) becoming insufferable (becoming impervious to suffering by acknowledging it and then choosing something else on which to focus your attention).

... and then doing these things over and over again until you make a habit of it! You thought it would be WAY more difficult, didn't you? (Well, actually, it is). This rat-race we call life is constantly pulling and dragging us into DUKHA-VILLE. Know what I mean? We master new principles only with practice, practice and more practice. So keep it simple, but keep it going, again and again and again... and one day, you might just move right out of DUKHA-VILLE into enlightenment and SERENITY, which is definitely where I want to be. How about you?

Here's to your enlightenment (or at least glimpses of it daily)! Much love to you, dear reader. Until next time!

MO

McClain Ph.D., Gary R. and Adamson, Eve. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living. New York: Alpha Books, 2004.