Friday, May 18, 2018
Saturday, January 13, 2018
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
WHY I
WRITE
by Stacey Baty Patterson10-23-12
Why do I write? Why does anyone write? What need are we
fulfilling when we write?
I can only convey my personal
experience. I write because I love to read other people's writings. When I was
a child my favorite place to visit was the library. My mom and I would go to
the library after she picked me up from school. I felt so grown-up having my
own library card! There was a power in that library card. That library card had
the power to open up worlds that I had only dreamed of. When I stood in front
of the library and looked at the old building, I imagined there was a giant
cocktail party of ancient sages, sharing their wisdom of the ages. They had all
come from different paths and lived different lives, and had finally met in the
old building to share their amazing journeys with one another and the rest of
the world. It was as if these sages were holding a party just for me as I
walked in the doors and marveled at the incredible amount of information
standing before me, on shelf after shelf. It was magic to me. I felt that
someone had gathered up all the riches in the world and placed them here for me,
for my continual and lifelong enjoyment. That's what the library meant to me as
a child. All of their writing made me respect their journeys as well as realize
that I have my own journey to share with the rest of the world. That's why I write.
I have an amazing inner critic that
blocks me with fear as I begin each writing piece. Every time I encountered
that critic I'm astounded by the power that critic has over me. I need people
who have written and overcome their inner critic, to encourage me to ignore the
rantings and ravings of that crazy inner gatekeeper that tries to block my
ideas from being shared. Writing is a scary and wonderful process which is
cathartic and engaging, when I can focus my attention on my journey and not my
shortcomings. I get great peace from writing. There's nothing like finishing a
paper and knowing it was a job well done. I love that feeling.
I still love the library. It’s still my favorite place to
go. I can spend hours and hours cruising and perusing at the library, to the
point that I may lose track of all space and time during my adventures there.
But what a way to go! All the sages of my childhood remain at the library
waiting for me to sit at their feet and listen and learn from their amazing
journeys. I get joy from the library. What I hope is that I can begin to get
the same joy from my writing as I do from others writing. That is my goal.
That's why I write.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Whoa! Slow down and get ZEN!
I'm baaa-aack... and none too soon!
I have been so caught up in life that I have made NO TIME for considering life and all of its surprises (good and bad). So, I have put my nose into a little ZEN. What is Zen? My question, exactly. I opened up a book that has been sitting quietly on my shelf, called, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living," and began searching for answers.
One of the first phrases to stand out to me regarding Zen was that you should be sure you are, "living in your present moment in the very best way you possibly can, because the past is gone and tomorrow never really comes." That's a big WHOA for me because I have been living solely in "yesterday" and "tomorrow" for several months. I admit that I have been regretting what hasn't been done and dreading what won't be done, due to health issues. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere. So... it's obviously not a good approach to life. Time for a change.
After a bit of studying, I learned that my obsession with the past and the future stems from a need for CONTROL and that Zen teaches you to relinquish control of "your ship." You see, "Zen can teach you to let go... [of]... the effort, the strain, and the burden of trying to manipulate that giant, seaweed-clogged rudder against the inevitable waves and tides. Your ship can run beautifully by itself. Just keep an eye out for icebergs, and you'll be fine." This was news to me.
For those of us who are waiting for the right moment to live out our life story, here's a revelation: "You live your entire life story every moment, so you have nowhere to go. You are already there. The story finishes each second, then starts again. Here you are, living. The end." Yikes! Does anybody else do that - waiting for "that moment" when it will all begin, when you will realize your dreams and "really" start "living?" Join the club. But, as they say, the future is now!
You may have heard that Zen is based on ancient Buddhist principles that began in India. But no, my friends, you do not have to become a Buddhist to benefit from the principles of Zen! People of all religions (or no religion) have benefited greatly from Zen, without "losing their religion." However, learning a bit of Buddhist background is a good place to start. Allow me to insert just a bit of history upon which Buddhist philosophy is based...
Siddhartha Gotama was a prince born of India's Warrior class about five centuries before the birth of Christ. His father (incorrectly) tried to shelter him from all strife during his childhood, in order to make him a great leader, but he eventually escaped the confinement of his youth and ventured out to find that the world was not all peaches and cream. Sorry, Daddy. His discovery of, "Four Noble Truths," transformed his existence into "nirvana," or "enlightenment." Nirvana is the recognition of 1) the great unity of all things, 2) the nature of suffering and, 3) how to end suffering.
Around age 30, this "Buddha," or "enlightened one," began traveling and teaching truth, or dharma for forty more years. These truths were arranged into particular principles, and within him developed "a deep compassion for all living things and the wish for all to recognize their own" enlightened nature. The Four Noble Truths are as follows:
-"Living" means experiencing dukha, which is the Sanskrit word for "discontent, dissatisfaction, suffering and fear."
-"Suffering is caused by desire" which causes dissatisfaction with the way things are.
-"We can eliminate suffering by eliminating desire"
-We eliminate desire by adhering to the "Eightfold Path," thereby reducing suffering and increasing joy into our lives.
Without adding too much detail, the Eightfold Path entails the following: Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Buddhist philosophy traveled from India to China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam and then to America. So... now that you are an expert (ha!) on the history of Zen, let's find out how to rev up the Zen in our own lives, broken down into three steps!
First, create a dukha list. Place all of your ongoing dissatisfactions on that list, adding to it as they arise. Undoubtedly, you will begin to see a theme as you add items. Second, say this aloud: "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS." Third, identify the things (and themes) on your list over which you have no control and choose to let them go. As you practice letting go, again and again, you will begin to perceive your dukha (dissatisfaction), but it won't bother you as much. '"There it is," you'll say. "There is that human suffering thing. But I've been there, done that, and don't need to do it this time.""
You see, Zen teaches us to break the cycle of "attaching ourselves unproductively to things we can't control." To live is to experience pain. That's just how it is. It's part of what we call "life." What we don't realize is that our worst and most recurrent pain is caused by the labels we attach to the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves! THOUGHTS CAUSE DUHKA! Another WHOA! Am I the only one yelling!?! Man, I love this stuff!
Specifically, how do we break the dukha cycle daily? By doing the following:
1) sitting quietly in meditation (clearing your mind during stillness),
2) walking quietly in meditation (clearing your mind while exercising) yoga and tai chi are great mind-clearing exercises too, or whatever floats your boat...
3) finding your center (stopping and regrouping when frustrated) and
4) becoming insufferable (becoming impervious to suffering by acknowledging it and then choosing something else on which to focus your attention).
... and then doing these things over and over again until you make a habit of it! You thought it would be WAY more difficult, didn't you? (Well, actually, it is). This rat-race we call life is constantly pulling and dragging us into DUKHA-VILLE. Know what I mean? We master new principles only with practice, practice and more practice. So keep it simple, but keep it going, again and again and again... and one day, you might just move right out of DUKHA-VILLE into enlightenment and SERENITY, which is definitely where I want to be. How about you?
Here's to your enlightenment (or at least glimpses of it daily)! Much love to you, dear reader. Until next time!
MO
McClain Ph.D., Gary R. and Adamson, Eve. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living. New York: Alpha Books, 2004.
I have been so caught up in life that I have made NO TIME for considering life and all of its surprises (good and bad). So, I have put my nose into a little ZEN. What is Zen? My question, exactly. I opened up a book that has been sitting quietly on my shelf, called, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living," and began searching for answers.
One of the first phrases to stand out to me regarding Zen was that you should be sure you are, "living in your present moment in the very best way you possibly can, because the past is gone and tomorrow never really comes." That's a big WHOA for me because I have been living solely in "yesterday" and "tomorrow" for several months. I admit that I have been regretting what hasn't been done and dreading what won't be done, due to health issues. Where has that gotten me? Nowhere. So... it's obviously not a good approach to life. Time for a change.
After a bit of studying, I learned that my obsession with the past and the future stems from a need for CONTROL and that Zen teaches you to relinquish control of "your ship." You see, "Zen can teach you to let go... [of]... the effort, the strain, and the burden of trying to manipulate that giant, seaweed-clogged rudder against the inevitable waves and tides. Your ship can run beautifully by itself. Just keep an eye out for icebergs, and you'll be fine." This was news to me.
For those of us who are waiting for the right moment to live out our life story, here's a revelation: "You live your entire life story every moment, so you have nowhere to go. You are already there. The story finishes each second, then starts again. Here you are, living. The end." Yikes! Does anybody else do that - waiting for "that moment" when it will all begin, when you will realize your dreams and "really" start "living?" Join the club. But, as they say, the future is now!
You may have heard that Zen is based on ancient Buddhist principles that began in India. But no, my friends, you do not have to become a Buddhist to benefit from the principles of Zen! People of all religions (or no religion) have benefited greatly from Zen, without "losing their religion." However, learning a bit of Buddhist background is a good place to start. Allow me to insert just a bit of history upon which Buddhist philosophy is based...
Siddhartha Gotama was a prince born of India's Warrior class about five centuries before the birth of Christ. His father (incorrectly) tried to shelter him from all strife during his childhood, in order to make him a great leader, but he eventually escaped the confinement of his youth and ventured out to find that the world was not all peaches and cream. Sorry, Daddy. His discovery of, "Four Noble Truths," transformed his existence into "nirvana," or "enlightenment." Nirvana is the recognition of 1) the great unity of all things, 2) the nature of suffering and, 3) how to end suffering.
Around age 30, this "Buddha," or "enlightened one," began traveling and teaching truth, or dharma for forty more years. These truths were arranged into particular principles, and within him developed "a deep compassion for all living things and the wish for all to recognize their own" enlightened nature. The Four Noble Truths are as follows:
-"Living" means experiencing dukha, which is the Sanskrit word for "discontent, dissatisfaction, suffering and fear."
-"Suffering is caused by desire" which causes dissatisfaction with the way things are.
-"We can eliminate suffering by eliminating desire"
-We eliminate desire by adhering to the "Eightfold Path," thereby reducing suffering and increasing joy into our lives.
Without adding too much detail, the Eightfold Path entails the following: Right Understanding, Right Thought, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness and Right Concentration. Buddhist philosophy traveled from India to China, Japan, Korea, Vietnam and then to America. So... now that you are an expert (ha!) on the history of Zen, let's find out how to rev up the Zen in our own lives, broken down into three steps!
First, create a dukha list. Place all of your ongoing dissatisfactions on that list, adding to it as they arise. Undoubtedly, you will begin to see a theme as you add items. Second, say this aloud: "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER THE BEHAVIOR OF OTHERS." Third, identify the things (and themes) on your list over which you have no control and choose to let them go. As you practice letting go, again and again, you will begin to perceive your dukha (dissatisfaction), but it won't bother you as much. '"There it is," you'll say. "There is that human suffering thing. But I've been there, done that, and don't need to do it this time.""
You see, Zen teaches us to break the cycle of "attaching ourselves unproductively to things we can't control." To live is to experience pain. That's just how it is. It's part of what we call "life." What we don't realize is that our worst and most recurrent pain is caused by the labels we attach to the circumstances, not the circumstances themselves! THOUGHTS CAUSE DUHKA! Another WHOA! Am I the only one yelling!?! Man, I love this stuff!
Specifically, how do we break the dukha cycle daily? By doing the following:
1) sitting quietly in meditation (clearing your mind during stillness),
2) walking quietly in meditation (clearing your mind while exercising) yoga and tai chi are great mind-clearing exercises too, or whatever floats your boat...
3) finding your center (stopping and regrouping when frustrated) and
4) becoming insufferable (becoming impervious to suffering by acknowledging it and then choosing something else on which to focus your attention).
... and then doing these things over and over again until you make a habit of it! You thought it would be WAY more difficult, didn't you? (Well, actually, it is). This rat-race we call life is constantly pulling and dragging us into DUKHA-VILLE. Know what I mean? We master new principles only with practice, practice and more practice. So keep it simple, but keep it going, again and again and again... and one day, you might just move right out of DUKHA-VILLE into enlightenment and SERENITY, which is definitely where I want to be. How about you?
Here's to your enlightenment (or at least glimpses of it daily)! Much love to you, dear reader. Until next time!
MO
McClain Ph.D., Gary R. and Adamson, Eve. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Zen Living. New York: Alpha Books, 2004.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Lifeskills #1 - Boundaries
Our first LIFESKILL is one that is obviously necessary but not so easy to implement - BOUNDARIES. Since the days of our youth, we have been taught by our families of origin and others close to us that either it is OK or it is NOT OK to set boundaries for ourselves. We use these "rules" that we learned years ago in our everyday lives, and it is AMAZING the impact these rules have on the shape and feel of all our relationships, both casual and intimate! Henry Cloud is, to me, an "expert" on boundaries. I love his various writings and listen to his audios often to remind myself of what are appropriate and inappropriate boundaries. We will touch on the high points of Boundaries in the coming days. I have found it's advice well worth taking . . .
Love to you all!
MO
Love to you all!
MO
Thursday, March 25, 2010
BOOKS ABOUT LIFESKILLS - CONDENSED FOR YOUR PLEASURE!
So many great books out there with loads of content that we could use to make our lives easier and help us to live smarter and with more joy, but WHO has time to read them? I glean the jewels from those books - so that you can take the best for YOU and leave the rest! Let's get this party started!
MO
So many great books out there with loads of content that we could use to make our lives easier and help us to live smarter and with more joy, but WHO has time to read them? I glean the jewels from those books - so that you can take the best for YOU and leave the rest! Let's get this party started!
MO
Where's my map?
Good afternoon wonderful world! This blog happens to be my answer to the most intriguing question I can think of. Where's the playbook for my freakin' life? When I come to a fork in the road, where's the bleepin' map? It's always in someone else's glovebox!
Well, this will be our GLOVEBOX. We will make maps of our own, using the wisdom of those who have gone before us. Happiness to you, my lovely friends. After this gets rollin' we will all feel a little more under control with the decisions of life - so sit back and relax. Stay tuned.
MO
Well, this will be our GLOVEBOX. We will make maps of our own, using the wisdom of those who have gone before us. Happiness to you, my lovely friends. After this gets rollin' we will all feel a little more under control with the decisions of life - so sit back and relax. Stay tuned.
MO
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